Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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