I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
