Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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