And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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