I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
