it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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