from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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