Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
