I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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