I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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