Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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