jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
