it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
