So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
it glows. i had to have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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