when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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