I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
