I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
