She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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