he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
