RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
