but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
