Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I stole a fireplace last night.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
