why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
