I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
