I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
