How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
