And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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