Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
