I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
