I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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