But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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