I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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