look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
