I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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