just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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