For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
