You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
