How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
