1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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