from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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