I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
