sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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