I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize