Whod you bang
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
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I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
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I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
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