So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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