Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
