At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
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Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He shit in the fireplace
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize