My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
