last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
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