lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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