i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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