help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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