You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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