i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
